When your boyfriend keeps talking about his ex, what to do? It must be bothering you a lot that your boyfriend always has this long conversation about his ex-girlfriend. You feel insecure about it and start to question whether your boyfriend really loves you.
The fact that he keeps talking about his ex—whether he remembers her fondly or never stops talking about how bad she is and that he hates her so much now—just means he still has her on his mind. Every little thing he says about his ex is like a sharp knife stabbing you over and over again.
When your boyfriend keeps talking about his ex, what to do? Did you drop him and leave before he hurts you any more?
It’s normal for you to feel uncomfortable because your boyfriend is always talking about his ex. But it’s not always bad. Before jumping to any conclusions and starting to make plans on the worst way to break up with him, it’s best to investigate things first.
Here’s what you can do about it:
1. Ask him openly about it
It’s okay to openly ask your boyfriend and show you’re bothered by it. But that doesn’t mean you can blame him. He will understand that you are jealous, but you have to talk about it calmly. If he’s defensive or doesn’t really care about you, you can put more pressure on him.
See also: If your boyfriend flirts with another girl, is it cheating?
2. Find out why
There must be a good reason why he keeps talking about his ex. Maybe they’re good friends to begin with, so they decide they’re more comfortable as friends. They are purely friends without any romantic feelings. But if this ex isn’t friends with him and they’ve lost touch for a while, it’s suspicious why they still talk?
3. Cool off and think about it
Don’t be dominated by your emotion. Remember that when you are about to bring the matter up with your boyfriend, you need to calm down. Don’t make any accusations because him talking to his ex doesn’t always mean a bad thing.
See Also: Should You Tell Your Boyfriend If Your Ex Contacts You?
4. Consider how long they finished
Whatever it is, you must admit it happened before you did, probably long before he knew you. If that’s the case, things have cooled down between them and they’ve decided to become friends. But if they’ve just broken up and he’s still in contact with her, it’s certainly something you want to talk about.
5. Tell him about your feelings
Be honest with your boyfriend. Tell him how uncomfortable and annoyed you are that he keeps talking about his ex. Explain to him why this makes you feel insecure, but remember not to prejudge him or accuse him of something that may not be true.
See also: Reasons not to text your ex right after a breakup
6. Remind him that she is in the past
If he talks about his ex-girlfriend fondly or hatefully, remind him she’s gone. What happened between him and his ex is in the past, and now he must be focusing on you, which is his present. It’s no use staying in the past.
7. Set limits for it
Instead of threatening, you are setting boundaries as a reminder to him. Tell him that while you’re fine with him continuing to talk about his ex, you can’t guarantee how much you can take, and you can walk away when things get too much.
See Also: How You Know Your Ex Girlfriend Doesn’t Want You Back
8. Ask him to cut off contact with her
With great respect for her privacy, ask him to cut ties with her by any means. Deleting her number, unfollow her on social media and all possible things that could connect you with your ex. Since it affects you in a bad way, he should be understanding about her feeling.
9. Request a meeting with her
If your boyfriend has told you that she’s just a good friend to him, you might want to meet her in person. You need to verify whether or not it is true by watching their interaction. Remember that maybe they are just good friends or worse yet, they are cheating on your back.
See also: Ways to tell your ex to stop contacting you again
10. Ask about his feelings
Doubting his feelings without any proof can feel accusing, but asking about it after meeting his ex is the right thing to do. Have a deep and open conversation with your boyfriend and ask him about how he really feels about his ex about your relationship. Tell him that you will accept his answer, even if it means he has to admit that he still has feelings for her.
11. Give it some time
Things don’t always go the way you want. When he’s having a hard time letting go of his ex or there’s a lot of unfinished business with her, it’s always best to give him some time. It hurts to let him go, but staying with him only hurts you more. Let him realize how much you mean to him after you’re gone.
More Signs He’s Not Over His Ex
The fact that he keeps talking about his ex makes you wonder if he still has it for her. But it’s not the only sign if he hasn’t left his ex yet. Here are more signs to watch out for:
- He is active on her social media. Not that he hasn’t deleted it, it seems like he’s been chasing it all the time.
- He makes an excuse to see her. If he doesn’t have any feelings for his ex anymore, why does he want to see her? It’s just suspicious.
- He compares you to his ex all the time and never considers your feelings.
- He keeps their relationship a secret. He doesn’t want his ex to know he’s already dating someone else.
- You caught him lying when you asked him something about his ex.
A lot of people probably get lost when their boyfriend keeps talking about his ex, what to do. Each person needs their own time to move forward. Maybe her boyfriend is still not over her or he has completely forgotten about her feeling for her that he casually talks about her. But in fact, it’s not normal if he keeps talking about it.